You know how to show up for others. You’re thoughtful. You anticipate. You give freely.

But when it’s your turn to speak up—to say “I need,” “I feel,” or “that doesn’t work for me”—you freeze. Or downplay. Or don’t say anything at all.

Then comes the resentment. The loneliness. The quiet wondering: “Why is this so hard for me?”

Here’s why: Because somewhere along the way, you learned that having needs wasn’t safe.

You’re the one your friends call when they’re spiraling. The listener. The advice-giver. The emotional anchor.

You rarely feel like you can fall apart. Or vent. Or just…be.

Because everyone’s used to you being the steady one.
The therapist friend. The “strong one.” The fixer. The emotional caretaker.

But here’s the thing: being that person in every circle isn’t a badge of honor. It’s a survival role. And it’s draining you.